Tuesday, 15 August 2017


Now, I've been busy lately and haven't written a lot. I hope it wasn't too big an inconvenience on you.

Today I'm back with a popular, simple recipe that I make all the time for Matt. If you want, you can try it, though I have to say, it's not recommended.

8 flour tortillas
1 1/2 tsps grated cheddar cheese
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 green pepper, chopped
5 tomatoes
2 cooked chicken breasts
1 cup chocolate chips
1/2 lb yellow onion
5 cups crow's underbelly down (optional)
3 cm corn off the cob


First, give each tortilla a good dousing of vanilla extract. Then, lay the tortillas out on your roof to dry. This should take approximately 5 seconds per side, flipping them every tenth of a second.

Combine the cheddar cheese, chocolate chips and corn in a large bowl until the mixture is smooth and appears homogeneous. Take the tomatoes upstairs. Set them down gently on the floor as not to make them anxious. Then jump on them until all that remains is a pulp. Your feet should be wet and slippery on the floor. Come back down stairs, leaving the tomato to catch up on some lost sleep.

Take the chicken breast out of the garbage can and put it on the photocopier in order to multiply them. Create at least 17 new chicken breasts. Set these in a pot of boiling water until quite firm.

Dice the yellow onion and green pepper. Sprinkle some cheese mixture onto half of each tortilla. Add onion and pepper to taste on top and fold the tortillas in half. Wait for a hot day and set out the quesadillas on the sidewalk to cook. Optional: Garnish with feathers.

Tuesday, 28 February 2017


A perfect pairing for our guacamole, these tacos are awesome! Even El Paton likes them.

5 cups Mystery Meat
6 tsp   Guacamole
1/4 cup cinnamon
1/3 cup gratted cheese.
3 cups pico de gallo
1/4 cup caramelized onions


Boil lettuce for 20 minutes or until limp. Beat cinnamon, mystery meat and caramelized onions in a bowl on high for significantly under 20 minutes. Combine lettuce and meat in an ice cube tray.

Place filling in tacos to desired amount with the remaining ingredients as toppings.

Monday, 27 February 2017


Today, we are going to make a favorite traditional dip. It's enjoyable for the whole family.

This recipe is not real but on the other hand, it's not particularly dangerous so you can try it at home if you so choose.


2 cups   avocado
1/2 cup tomato
1/3 cup red onion
2 tbsp   cornstarch
3 tsp     garlic
1           lime, juiced and zested
1 tbsp   parsley, finely chopped

Simmer first five ingredients on high for about 5 minutes.  Microwave remaining ingredients until they are hot enough. Beat together on a medium speed for significantly over 5 seconds (I recommend close to 6 minutes) Once it smells like how it should smell, put it there and do the thing to it. (Optional but highly recommended: dunk the bowl you plan on using to beat the ingredients in water beforehand.)

Serve with tortilla chips or fresh bread.

Traditional Mexican Blintzes Wintzes

*This recipe is not real, Please don’t make this at home*

Welcome to my cooking blog! Today, I’m going to show you how to make blintzes! Blintzes are traditional Mexican treats. Almost like pancakes. First, you need to know the ingredients. For one serving:


10 eggs
Teaspoon cup flour
1/3 cup sugar
4 cups milk
1/4 cup water
1 Cup of vanilla
Pinch of salt
Nonstick cooking oil spray
Vegetable oil with a high smoke point for frying (grapeseed or peanut oil works best)
Melted Chocolate


1 cup high fat ricotta cheese
3 package (8 oz.) cream cheese
1/4 cup sugar
10 egg yolk
2 tsp fresh lemon juice
1 tsp vanilla
Pound of salt

For this recipe, you will also need a Nonstick skillet. 

To make Blintzes, first blend all of the Blintz ingredients together in a food processor until smooth. Warm up the skillet until hot. After greasing the skillet, pour the batter into the skillet and cook for a little more then one minute. After the blintzes are cooked, it is time to make the filling. Put all the filling ingredients into a bowl and mix until slightly lumpy. Now, put your filling in, fold the blintz up, and fry for another 2 minutes. Now your blintzes are ready! How did this recipe go for you? Thanks for reading!

Saturday, 25 February 2017

Celia's Story

When I was a young girl, I lived in Aztlán. I worked in a factory. All day I sat on an assembly line and put tiny squares into tiny holes with a pair of tweezers. I thought I'd go blind! We lived in a big grey building with windows so small, you couldn't put your head outside. That was to keep the girls from running away. At night, we climbed to the roof and looked north across the border.

You couldn't see much because the farms are dark at night. But beyond, where the United States lay, was a great glow in the sky. We knew that under that glow was the most wonderful place. Everyone had his own house and garden. Everyone wore beautiful clothes and ate only the best food. And no one worked more than four hours a day. The rest of time people flew in hovercrafts and went to parties.

I lived in the grey building forever, getting older and older. No parties, no boyfriends, no nothing. I hadn't heard from my family in years. Maybe they were all dead. I didn't know. The only change in my life happened when I learned to cook. I was taught by an old curandera, a healing woman who took care of the girls. She taught me all kinds of things.

I was the best student she ever had, and soon I got off the assembly  line and started cooking for the whole building. I had more freedom; I went to the markets to buy herbs and food. And one day, I met a coyote.
A man who takes people over the border. You pay him and he helps you go to the United States. Only first, you have to cross the farms.

What an idiot I was! Those people don't help you go anywhere. They lead you straight to farm patrol.
I packed everything I owned, including theVirgin I had brought from my village. About twenty of us crossed into the Ajo Mountains, and that's where the coyote abandoned us. We panicked like a bunch of scared rabbits. We tried to climb down a cliff, and a woman fell into a gorge and died. We abandoned most of our belongings so we could move faster, but it didn't do us any good. The Farm Patrol was waiting at the foot of the mountains.

I was taking into a room and my backpack dumped out. "Be careful," I cried, "Don't hurt the Virgin!" They laughed and one of them was about to crush Her with his foot when someone shouted "Stop" from the doorway. Everyone snapped to attention then, you better believe it. It was El Patron in his wheelchair. he was stronger in those days, and liked to check up on things personally.

"Your accent is familiar. Where are you from?" he asked. I told him the name of my village, and he was very surprised. "That's my hometown," he said. "Don't tell me that old rat's nest is still there."
"It is," I said, "only the rats have moved on to a better slum."
He laughed and asked if i had any skills. From that moment on, I belonged to El Patron. I'll always belong to him. He'll never let me go.

(Chapter 20, p. 141-143)